Transformers: Rolling on the Floor June 24, 2009
Posted by xenocidebot in Movies.add a comment
Well, it’s what we all think when we see ROTF, isn’t it?
Just saw the movie, thought I may as well say a bit about it.
If you’re hoping for a deep plot, don’t watch it. ROTF is about as shallow in plot as one can get without being erotica or a commercial (And it basically is a commercial, like the cartoons before it.)
If you’re hoping for great acting, don’t watch it. It’s not terrible by any means, but Shia’s seizures aren’t going to entertain you much, and a lot of the dialogue still comes out like some stream of particularly chunky mud. Thankfully, none of that is noticeable during the fight scenes.
Speaking of which- if you’re hoping for entertaining fight scenes with lots of explosions, WATCH THIS MOVIE!
Granted, you already expected this- I mean, really, it’s a summer movie, it’s a Bay movie, and it’s supposed to feature more robots and fights than the original. If you see this movie without a clear understanding of what it will consist of, you may be a moron. But it’s worth mentioning the degree to which these fights so rife with explosions kick ass.
As an action movie fan, I can quite easily say that they are the best fights (so rife with explosions) I have seen in a theater in a long, long time.
A complaint of mine with the last movie was that Optimus Prime fought like an old man. It pleases me to say, then, that the sequel has seen him back in proper form, acting like some sort of fucking ninja semi and besting a good many foes simultaneously. The aerial component to his final, climactic battle is handled far better than I had assumed it would be, and the badassification of a few G1 references do their part to mark this iteration of Prime as one of the best. If you like the character, in any form, see this movie, you will not be disappointed. Prime has the best lines. Prime has the best fights. While not getting the most screen time, he has the majority of the movie’s focus. I’m almost surprised Prime didn’t end up getting the girl in the end. Something for Bay to add in the third movie.
Bumblebee also manages to finally kick ass, after that legless fiasco in the original. Noteworthy is his rather gory scene with a Decepticon I shall not name- suffice to say he is killed in a manner reminiscent of a fat man eating a very large drumstick, except the drumstick is an evil robot and that it looks awesome. He also appears to have taken lessons from Sagat, as his form is significantly more “TIGER KNEE”-scream inspiring.
On other ‘bots, holes in the plot, and potential (and by that I mean EXTREMELY LIKELY) spoilers:
-It is disappointing that the bike trio doesn’t get more screen time, that they don’t combine, as was planned, and that they don’t do much when they do get screen time, but it could easily be worse. If anything, they make me want to buy the toys just to see what the combined mode looks like.
-Sideswipe feels like he got a little less spotlight than he deserved, but what he does get is incredible. I’m not sure what the scissorhands variant of SNIKT is, but he definitely needs a name for his stabbery.
-Ratchet and Ironhide definitely seem neglected, but they are rather bland bots in a movie full of several varieties of bot, so it’s not too bad. And Ratchet manages to look pretty boss in the Egypt portion of the movie, laying down cover fire with an enormous machine gun.
-SOUNDWAVE: INFERIOR, CONSTRUCTICONS: ALSO INFERIOR. Soundwave manages to move the plot forward, and that’s it. The voice sucks, though not as badly as, say, the most recent cartoon’s, but it’s still pretty bad. The Constructicons, meanwhile, get to serve as funky looking cannon fodder. At least they do look funky- Demolishor, in particular, looks quite imposing (and moves in a most interesting fashion- I was not expecting the sort of flip/skate/crawl he uses after seeing his design, but it works well.)
-The Pretender felt too easily killed. She also felt like a shameless Terminator knockoff.
-Jetfire is…funny. Honestly. I was expecting him to be a low point of the movie for me. Similarly, Skids and Mudflap managed to defy my expectations and give me a chuckle or three.
-Megatron is handled well enough, though the Fallen does a number on his character. It’s not really apparently why the Fallen is calling the shots, when Megatron seems to handle everything well enough without him- and sure enough, when he finally does something, he’s promptly done in by Prime. The whole “blow up the sun machine” gimmick doesn’t seem like it really needs the Fallen for any reason other than because he says so. But whatever.
-Why Energon is just as good as the Allspark for prolonging the life of the Transformer “species” is never really explained. So “hatchlings” die without it… In the last movie, didn’t they need the Allspark to build an army? If they didn’t, why search for it to begin with? They could just fight over some “Energon” , wheratever it is in this series. I suppose there might not have been any around, but then you’d have to wonder where all these extra Decepticons are coming from…
